603: Peer Crit (20.01.2021)

Hannah: Maybelline Rebrand 

• Wanting to make the branding more cohesive, 1 week for the brief.
• The Super Stay, Fit Me and Dream lines confused me a little as they were points of sale, mentioned how this could be made more clear on the presentation and important for pitching. 
• Small alterations could be made to elements of the products to bring them together more.
  - The lipstick branding was brilliant, the strongest. 
  - Could have the foundation be more similar to this as the packaging dimensions are similar.

Ryan: Sushi Branding

• Ryan hadn't done further design work but we went over his branding for the sushi food truck again so could give more advice.
• Spoke about how to use the different elements of the different logos for parts of the food truck ephemera, like menus and van design.

Me: Concrete Poetry

• The colours on 'When Love Arrives' should be more muted to show the different voices.
  > Felt the colours were too vibrant, were a lot to look at visually.
  > Mentioned having the colour change when you hover over it but I'd tried this and it broke up the pace of poem, did more harm than good.
  - Could try this with larger sections of the text, see the impact and could try with muted tones.
• Thinking about how it would work Ryan suggested having a submission box where people would submit their poems and I'd translate them to a concrete poetry style.
  - I thought people could also design their own and it would be a collaborative way of getting poets and designers to work together bringing new work to new audiences. 
  > Would include socials at the bottom of the website page (Ryan), would make it look more like a functioning website.
• Suggestions for visuals on 'A Letter to the Apocalypse':
  > Gradually increasing size on the text to show growing intensity.
  - I like this idea, but I think the poem presents more of a punch than a gradual increase.
  - Could still use the increase of size to demonstrate this idea more dramatically.
  > (Hannah) Like the change to a black background to show a change in the tone. 
  - Agree, think this should stay.
  > (Ryan) An idea of having a spotlight on the poem that would be present as you scroll, could be a grey circle that stays on the page.
  - I like the idea of this, not sure if it's too literal or if it's needed if the aim is to create a new way of experience visual poetry.
  
• Overall the comments were that it was more engaging than a book, Ryan mentioned that he'd use the site if it was functioning.
  - Really encouraging things to here, reassuring, good to know I'm achieving the aim of the brief. 

What to do now?

• Work on alterations to:
  1. 'When Love Arrives', thinking about colour and interaction with animation.
  2. 'A Letter to the Apocalypse', text for intense section. 
• Add socials to website
• Come up with a name?